A Journey Like No Other
- Ariff K.
- Aug 3, 2018
- 8 min read
Updated: Sep 29, 2018
It's funny how we want a whole lot to end in the moment of time but when it eventually does come to an end, you somehow wish it hadn't been so quick. And no this really isn't about regretting something which i could have done better, or contributing much more in every way possible but instead, it comes in a form of self-realization that this journey has undoubtedly taught me a whole lot about self discovery and what it takes to survive when you're left with no meat on your plate. It has become a stereotypical assumption that life in the service gets much more easier and less stricter with every passing era of soldier that has devoted their time for the nation. It is so much easier when it comes to proclaiming that this sums up the closing of a long awaited chapter to National Service. Although many of us here know that we don't completely end just yet with the numerous In-Camp TrainingTrainings that await our return on an annual basis as an operationally ready servicemen. I suppose so the only difference having transitioned back to civilian life is the idea of having the occupation of a 'Full-Time National Servicemen' being removed from our identities permanently. To be brutally honest, i am still slowly digesting the fact that i am now classified as a civilian.
What exactly has the army taught me throughout my time in the service you may ponder, or perhaps for the many who may be wondering what exactly my vocation was and how my role played a significant role in the organization? It is simply everything, which i know many will certainly choose to disagree for starters but just maybe this post can truly articulate my workload and views in a more defining light. Let's face the truth, the only people who can really understand this whole experience is simply the people themselves, who undergo the entire process of conscription service, in this case only myself and i. It is almost impossible to fully rationalize what every male Singaporean that was made to serve the nation goes through but perhaps to better shed some light, trying to convey across through words is only best as a form of closure through the concept of self-reflection. What really has been the most defining of moments personally in every aspect, to put it into simple words is simply everything.
This entire journey isn't all about what an average servicemen experiences on a daily basis, but it's really what the people around him has bared and experienced alongside him. Loved ones - family, friends, and fellow comrades and even men put under his charge that has either been forced to put up with everything or perhaps with time, self-willingly discovered some form of worth wanting to put up with the idea that conscription is real. There's really no say for them, like you can dwell on it hard enough but you'll soon realize that to feel truly for the servicemen is close to impossible. There's no option to say that i'll give up my life for him just so he wouldn't have to serve or i'll ease the burden for him by enlisting on his accord.
The law says his a nation's son and will do so willingly with just to serve with passion, bear true faith and allegiance to the President and the Republic of Singapore. That he will preserve and protect the honor and independence of the country with his life.
It has to some way or another strike you in the head because it may seem like it does seem to be a journey of service and contribution for the nation for starters but when you do get along with the flow, it really isn't bounded by that ideology. They say you ain't a soldier if training to be one isn't tough on the forefront, or that if it doesn't at all put you in a risky spot on a daily affair. They say you ain't a soldier if you ain't trained to grab hold of a weapon and shoot, or when you don't know how to toss a grenade from the bay. I guess what remains highly stereotypical in this modern era is that you ain't a soldier for as long as you are not fit to classify yourself as one. Well here's how it goes, a soldier is by general very much a profession but find me someone who chooses and fancies to be in the force but yet doesn't intend to sign on in the service. That's how conscription is suppose to go about, putting someone's passion of his own liking and expense on hold for something we tend to take for granted of.
The ones who had to go through thick and thin with me and put up with my lazy and yet all so difficult days, share equally a fond idea of what sacrificing really means. When i have to sacrifice my weekends for duty obligations protecting national security installations in camps, or when i have to be sent out in the wild with close to zero contact rate to the outside world. It tests limits to the very base fundamental of persevering even when nothing is in your favor. The journey puts you out of your comfort zone in every means possible just so you'll learn to appreciate what it means to live a day fully under your own influence. You'll learn to be poor no matter how wealthy you may be and what it really gets you through is a set of knives that you'll get to loot for you to survive a cruel world. It's funny how they can really tests your limits to a whole new different level even when you are already at such limitations to breathe freely.
It all starts by you losing your first power of freedom in a civilized country and it somehow gets less restrictive through the months although it ain't suppose to make anyone feel that way but here's how it went on my side of things.
It really is a whole lot of make shift mentality, everyone forced to adapt and be flexible with change from the very first day we step foot on the island offshore, Tekong. A night before enlistment, it only got tougher trying to get a proper goodnight sleep. It was how it was supposed to be, and it sure does apply likewise to mostly everyone whom i know thus far that is enlisting. Being well-liked wasn't a weakness, it only got me thinking through on how worse it can only get if i were to be a commander on the ground someday leading men, when it all just used to be a passing thought. I still became a commander. Training put me at wit ends of losing it all but the idea of knowing that everyone was pulling through together only made it much less torturing. I sure wasn't the most fittest or smartest soldier on ground, but being optimistic was the only way for me to get by on a daily basis.
The experience teaches one self to be more realistic in achieving results, juggling expectations and managing people skills. This was a journey i could look back seeing how far i've come but yet i wouldn't want to go through it all again if given another opportunity to. It has always been that the idea of conscription tweaks my mind like as if i was a part of a movie reel, where everything i do right or bad was just awaiting it's consequences. No person in the right of mind would flare up over a small bit of dust in sight because that would be almost impossible given the short duration of time granted for administrative rest or no one should get too loud with a little messy sight in your own personal space. But that's just how life is for us, the army needs and has to uphold a certain level of regimentation and discipline without questioning too much, so they would pretty much flare up over such silly things.
They say the people you meet in there go a really long way in life thereafter, it sure does get me pondering how exactly that works apart from the men whom i've taken care of during my time as their commander. Coming from all walks of life, it doesn't begin easy. It's like learning to live once again in a different form, the conscripted life behind those heavily guarded fences. I don't or never chose how i wanted my men to be as soon as i graduated from logistics training school as a full pledged specialist of the nation. However, but what i do know at the end of it all was that i have really good soldiers working tirelessly in the backdrop of the nation's eyes ensuring that the battalion remains ready to strike with the relevant logistical needs when the time comes. It became a way of life, the idea of having to book back into camp on a Sunday night for a brand new week ahead, or having to wake up in the early wee hours of the morning despite how tiring it can get. The list goes on and till then, the idea of it all remains embedded in my way of life even after having been transitioned back to the civilian life.
This journey was really all about finding life for a life that was temporarily put on hold. Making do best with what's left. What sets it all in a different light and gets me in a dilemma every other time is trying to rationalize out how the people who stood by you constantly remained true and had very little to complain about despite the lack of your presence and availability on a day to day life. This was a different kind of realization. Experiences as such has made me developed life lessons and skills i would never once had foresee it coming and truly it really isn't all about training to be a soldier in order to be classified as one.
I wasn't an Infanteer trained but i had to think and behave like one.
I wasn't Medic trained but i had to ensure the men under me are well taken care of physically and emotionally.
I wasn't a Combat Engineer trained but i had to be knowledgeable like one especially so when i come from a battalion of such breeds.
I wasn't Transport trained but i had to put myself in the shoes of any other transport operator.
But i am Supply trained, and as such everything that was expected of me in the aspect of the above with close to thirty men once under me was what i did best.
I'll certainly miss living the life of a life i never wanted but it still is one that i wouldn't relive for. I have nothing but fullest of gratitude and thanks to the ones who walked this journey of National Service with me from the very first day to the last. It is without doubt that through the journey, there was a whole lot learned and discovered. There are the ones who stayed patiently true, and those who decides to walk out of your life. It may have looked as though 2 years have gone and pass in a blink of an eye, but it isn't the same if you experience the journey first hand.
The fact of things will naturally sink in, when the family has to make compromises when it comes to weekend plans, or when the need to balance relationships and service comes into light. Every single thing that matters close to the heart has an indirect affiliation with one another. You meet the kind of people you wish you never had to meet and you'll meet the ones whom you wish you have had met much earlier but that's just how it is, they and you, we come and go. That's simply the idea of conscription, giving your best when called upon with very little appreciation given but when the day comes for you to end, they miss your presence and all the effort that you've put in on behalf of them.
This journey was only made for the ones who are willing to commit and sacrifice even if it's not to our favor. It teaches you life even when you least expect so.
I officially turn operationally ready today.
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